My Alternate Weekend

I have the children this weekend. Because the children are being raised Jewish Orthodox, I’m required to show them a consistent religious weekend.
Jewish Orthodoxy prohibits the operation of computers over religious holidays, so I’m forced to stay off computers when I’m in front of the children.
Because of paranoia that I’ll violate the children’s innocence of Shabbos observance, I’m required to bring them to my parent’s home for the weekly holiday.

In our divorce agreement, I’m being required to sign that I will give the children an authentic Shabbos experience (with kosher food). Once the documents are signed and the divorce is finalized, I’ll be able to have them at my place. That will be good, because I purposely rented an apartment with two bedrooms so the children can sleep over by me.

I find the whole situation offensive in the extreme, but fighting it will just cost more money and lead to more fights with my soon to be ex-wife. After a so much time swallowing blow after blow, what’s one more?

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2 Responses to “My Alternate Weekend”

  1. liza Says:

    do you get them every weekend?
    what does your lawyer say?
    this means keeping shabbes for many more years-
    yes, it does seem like something big, not just a little more
    compared to all the past indignities.

  2. alarbean Says:

    Liza,
    I get them every other weekend.
    My lawyers are frum, so they want me to be as well. However, from a legal point of view, they feel that the court system would not take my side. Therefore, they suggest I go along with it for “the sake of the children”. I think it’s more important that they get to spend time with their dad, then my own feelings about the religion.
    Sadly, my children are like the KGB. I know anything they see (or think they see), gets reported to their mother as soon as possible. (For some reason, they don’t report things to me. Possibly because I don’t ask them investigative questions. I don’t want them to feel “between”us.) They don’t realize that if they report something “bad” about me, it can have serious effects on our ability to spend time with each other. However, I’m unwilling to illuminate this issue to them. I want them to be children.

    It means keeping Shabbos in front of them for a long time. However, as they grow, I’m sure they will not be “with” me the entire time. I’ll find a way to be safe and yet do my own thing – without causing the children harm.

    I totally agree with your last sentence. Especially, the use of the word “indignity”!

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