Posts Tagged ‘Ultra Orthodox Jew’

Wedding and Israel

December 7, 2010

I spent a lot of time researching the best time to take my vacation this Winter. I negotiated with my managers over the course of three weeks before we settled on dates.
Finally, on November 1, 2010 I purchased my tickets to fly to Israel on January 23, 2011 and to New York on February 6, 2011.

I informed my parents and siblings of my plans and I let my ex-wife know that I would be unavailable during those two weeks.

One of my younger sisters decided to accept a marriage proposal just prior to Thanksgiving.
A couple of weekends ago she warned me that they were considering a January 30th wedding. I informed her that I already purchased my ticket and if they held it that date, I probably wouldn’t be there.

On Friday December 3, 2010 she informed that they did, in fact, book the wedding for January 30th.*

I didn’t want to change my plans, but I felt like I was “required” to research my options. I called the airline. They told me I’d be charged a minimum of $250.00 to change my flight plans.
I spoke to my management. They didn’t want to be blamed (how they phrased it) for keeping me from attending my sister’s wedding, so they agreed to re-open negotiations to plan my vacation dates. However, they made it clear that they wanted me to go on vacation sooner rather than later.

(Basically, they expect a lot of projects to begin in February 2011, so they want all hands on deck.)

I called my brother in Israel to find out what he was doing and to hear what he thought. He’ll be coming in for her wedding. He offered to let me use his apartment while he’s away (especially if his whole family travels with him). He agreed that I am not obligated to change my plans because they knew the situation before they chose January 30.


* When I ask people advice, they usually ask why is she getting married so soon after meeting the guy and why does she need to get married on that particular weekend?
I haven’t spoken to her about it. However, I think my dad is imposing his belief that engagements should be short. This belief might work for ultra-Orthodox Jews and its practice might be appropriate for people who buy into that way of life, but I think it’s a mistake for my sister.
My sister is a sincere, god-believing, ethical, Orthodox-practicing, commandment keeping person. But she is not ultra-Orthodox.
She should have a “normal” Orthodox engagement period of 3 to 6 month. I hope I’m wrong, but I believe that this shortened time line will have negative repercussions.

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Welcome

January 31, 2010

Welcome aboard.

It’s hard to define who I am. It might be easier to define who I’m not.
I’m not a writer.
I’m not good at spelling.
I’m not religious.
I’m not a believer in god. Any god. Not even YOUR god. Sorry!
I’m not sexy.
I’m not smart.
I’m not funny.
I’m not a good singer.
I’m not cool, calm, or collected.
I’m not going to have anything interesting to say.

Okay, so now that everyone is gone, I’ll give you the basic rundown on who I was.
I was born into an Ultra Orthodox Jewish family. When I was born I was the fourth child born to two parents. By the time my parents completed their career as birthers, an additional eleven siblings joined the clan.

I started attending Yeshiva (Religious Jewish School) when I was three and a half). I went to Yeshiva without a break until I was twenty-four and married.

In September 2009 my wife and I separated.
In March 2010 we got our religious divorce.
She remains religious.

This is what I do:
I work as a computer programmer. In July 2008 or so I was tasked with overseeing the work and times of some my colleagues.
I “sing” karaoke as often as I can. Currently I tend to go to The Old Carriage Inn for Thursday and Saturday night karaoke.
I try to go to one movie a week. ( Clearview in Chelsea and Clearview on 62nd Street are my favorite places to watch movies. If you want to join me on a Tuesday evening, send a tweet to @alarBean .)